Israel: Processing, Recovering, and Moving Forward

It's been nearly two weeks since my return from Israel and the Palestinian Territories. And it has been that long since my last blog post.

I am still in the midst of processing the whole experience. As I attempt to describe what I went through in the Holy Land, I fnd it extremely hard hard to put those nine days into words. Perhaps the one word that best sums it up is: Surreal. Sure, it was amazing to step into the settings of the biblical narrative, to see the very places I've heard about my entire life in Sunday School. But it is a land of deep divisions. The polarization is palpable. And I found myself surrounded by propaganda, and the propaganda of only one position at that. It didn't help that I was sick. Perhaps had I been well, I would have challenged the narrowness of the information given to us with both more efficacy and finesse. As it was, in my exhausted, congested state, my attempts to do so were lame, ineffective, and utterly lacking in subtly or diplomacy. (and if you know me, you know that while I am not one to tolerate any BS, I do tend to dispute it nicely).

So coming home, I felt, I feel, oh, so many emotions. And I haven't been able to put words to what I went through. Shoot, I still don't know exactly what I went through; the more I ponder it, the more bewildered I am. Did I actually hear/see/experience that? I have beautiful pictures which in no way capture the complexities I encountered. And neither do the words I attempt to put down on paper. In fact, it has been difficult for me to write anything at all. And writing is always my refuge. So I have been a bit lost these past two weeks. Recovering from my illness (on top of jetlag), scrambling to catch up after my weeks away, and attempting to process the experiene - and without the solace I usually find in words. Or in song.

But perhaps it is best for me to just begin writing and trust that the words will come. And maybe as the words come, so will understanding, and I will finally be able to make some sense out of the surreality (is that a word?) of it all.

So, here, I will list some of the highlights of the trip, along with some of my regrets.

Highlight: Waking up on our first morning and watching the sun rise over the Sea of Galilee, singing and praying and welcoming the new day in the Holy Land.

Regret: Being sick.

Highlight: Hearing the church bells and muezzin, one after the other, calling both the Christian and Muslim faithful to prayer in the city of Nazareth.

Regret: Not hearing more from Palestinian people. We only met with one Palestinian (as opposed to nearly a dozen Israelis), and the group leader went out of her way to discredit him, even calling him a "liar" and discounting his personal experience. We definitely were not presented with a fair witness to the conflict(s) between Israel and Palestine.

Highlight: Visiting the holy sites. Did Jesus really eat/sleep/heal/preach/teach here? Or does it matter? Is a place made holy by being the historically accurate setting? Or is a place sanctified through the anointing of fingers and baptism of tears of the countless pilgrims who have reached out and touched the stones throughout the millennia?

Regret: Feeling so powerless and ineffectual in the face of such suffering, violence, oppression, and fear in the region. What can I do? I don't know.

Highlight: Making friends among my fellow travelers. I am blessed to have them all as colleagues.

Highlight: Experiencing this trip, in all of its complexity and wonder, with my dear friend Sarah. I appreciate her fiercely gentle spirit and her ability keep me sane in the midst of such madness. And her way of telling me, "No, it's not you," even if, at times, it was.


What is next? Well, I continue to minister and serve in Chicago. And I continue to learn about the tensions and conflicts in Israel and Palestine, hoping to discern concrete ways in which I can participate in the healing of the wounds of this world. And maybe the Combatants for Peace can teach me something tonight...