retreating

Usually, I take "retreat" to mean something like a time of seclusion and solitude or a period of withdrawal for prayer, meditation, or sudy. And sometimes, I say it is a way of re-treating myself, caring for myself once again.

But this time, it feels dfferent. I feel like I have been fighting a war (or two or three), and I am getting my rear-end kicked from all sides. So as I come to this week of gathering with my beloved Bethany Fellows, I feel as if I am in military retreat, withdrawing from a dangerous position or a formidable foe (though neither the danger nor the enemy is something I can easily name or even point to).

This week, I am taking a break from fighting battles. This week, I am resting. And perhaps next week I will return to my life, not so much ready to take up the fight, but more, to realize that the fight need not be. At least this is what I hope.